(no subject)

The Christmas tree actually came down today, a fairly quick operation of ornaments, then a bit of string light de-tangling and un-plugging, and then unsnapping branches from their little metal and plastic brackets.

Yeah, we had a fake tree. And it only took us this long to take it down because we haven't bought plastic containers to keep the tree in until next year, and we threw out one of the mangled boxes we had kept it in for the last few years. That old box was bent and ripped and worn and nearly torn all to shreds on one side because one of the cats decided it'd make a nice scratching post.

So now I have groupings of branches all along the dining room floor, and the table is covered in ornaments. String lights are piled in a horrific tangle on a chair.

And yes, there were some needles to sweep up. Even synthetic trees shed, just a little.

The dining room is much bigger now. The whole apartment seems bigger now, emptier, more lonely. The sun is moving in seasonal cycles and slanting into the windows a little differently every day.

I need to do a show, some sort of performance, something experimental.

What. What. What.

three letters

monthly hormone flux

calorie consumption erratic, demonic, spastic, mostly healthy

mood swings like whiplash, sudden effervescent adoration for all things, even the nasty, cruel, inhumane. Sudden realization that one must have Evil in order to ecstatically embrace and copulate with Good.

Time is slow, time is slipping by. The bed calls to me. Books call. Dark, warm movie theatres call. Hot cheesy pizza calls. Steamed vegetables call. The burdens of Man are heavy upon my shoulders.

heavy shoulders, heavy feet, hair is thick and shiny, eyes are tired, fingers are nimble, heart is beating pitter pat, oh I love I love I love