'tis the season

Rainy and cold it was today, people rushing around like lunatics, driving like big assholes in shiny monster trucks.

I had an iced mocha and sipped it thoughtfully as I paced up and down the sidewalk in the middle of the shopping center today, not wanting to go back to my car just yet because Scott was still in a store, and if I got in my car there'd be several vehicles fighting for my spot, and really I just wanted to sit in my car for a minute instead of walking back and forth on the sidewalk, feeling the sweat on my brow cool, feel the heat from my head float off and dissipate easily, sweetly.

I swirled the bitter coffee and milk in the plastic cup, barely heard the rattle and slush of ice cubes. Sip, sip. Honk, honk.

Tomorrow will be a logistical holiday nightmare.

Today, I found that there are still even more friends who've been avoiding me, and I don't know why.

My god, I sound paranoid and pathetic. Someone, kick my ass, tell me ain't so.